A surprise in the mail…

May 25, 2009

A very strange object arrived on my desk at KooK headquarters recently and I must say am very excited to share this advance in fruit enhancement technology with you all. It came in the mail from my Tokyo based correspondent Troy McLure and the customs declaration said ‘Toy’… When you see it, I think you’ll understand why my housemate who received the package thought I was feelin’ a little lonely…

banana guard

This ladies and gentlemen is a banana guard, a device designed to protect your banana from getting squashed and bruised. Look I don’t know about you but I know I’m personally sick to death of bruised and squashed bananas in my bag and I want a solution now goddammit! According to http://www.bananaguard.com you can even get it in an assortment of colours including Mellow Yellow, Passionate Purple and Pretty in Pink. Check out the banana guard in action below if you still don’t believe I’m not a lonely size queen…

banana open

Whilst I was gazing at the banana guard on my book shelf one night, a thought suddenly occurred to me. Surely if you reached into your bag at work and pulled out your trusty banana guard, you’d do so with a slight feeling of intrepidation? An object that at first glance looks like a huge phallic shaped dildo is bound to cause quite a stir in your cubicle is it not? Would people think you’re feelin’ a little lonely, that you’re a freak banana lover, or just a freak  fullstop? To help me find out, my housemate has agreed to take the banana guard undercover into her workplace for a day. Stay tuned because the banana guard is on the prowl people. Look out!

Zina x



  1. do you take the banana guard to the shops and ensure that all the nana’s you purchase are going to fit into it properly? Some bananas are not so bendy as the one you have demonstrated.

  2. what if the bend of your banana doesn’t match your banana guard

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